If you want something doing, ask a busy woman. That’s what they say, isn’t it? And they’re right. Best of all, ask a mum: we get stuff done, don’t we? From job commitments which never seem to end thanks to the invention of smartphones, to making and keeping doctors appointments, ensuring the kids have clothes that fit (and are occasionally clean), arranging playdates, helping with homework, advising on emotions, attacking nits, etc, etc, on and on… a parent’s work is never done.

I’ve always been proud of my ability to make stuff happen, of keeping all the balls in the air: having three kids under five while building a business, having a job, moving house, while thrashing to stay afloat amidst the frenzied tide of Things To Do that slams against us in everyday life…? No problem! Except, it is a problem. A big one – and not just for me.

Increasingly, conversations with my “most capable” girlfriends turn to the impossibility of doing it all; the sense that while peddling desperately to getting everything done and get it done right, we’re failing at everything. And the perception is that everyone else is coping. Not just coping, they’re thriving!

The ability to admit that the pressure is too much is one we are finally facing as a new wave of women who are clubbing together in solidarity, rather than turning our swords on one another; on social media and in real life. Yet, on a day-to-day level so many of us continue to believe we’re not doing enough. We set ourselves unrealistic expectations, and then when we can’t achieve them all, we lambast ourselves for not being good enough. Why? If I consider my own situation I realise it’s not just that I want to feel I’m “achieving” – although a culture fuelled by social media, which encourages us to constantly seek the approval of others, certainly has something to answer for – when I stop to think about it, I actually feel like I have to “succeed”. Because I’m lucky to have so many options available to me, aren’t I? So surely, I rationalise in my least rational mind, I’d be foolish not to make the most of them all?

Now that women are in a position where we can do it all – in theory at least: research published today by workingmums.co.uk reveals that 48 per cent of mums who have taken a career break cannot find a job in their field, while 21 per cent who find a job in their field have to take one at a lower career level after having a baby – I feel the pressure to make sure I do as much as I can.

But at what cost? As I look around my desk – the agitated newborn baby on my lap, the half-drunk cups of coffee, the endless Post-it notes with increasing series of exclamation marks and underlinings, the paracetamol, the half-typed emails, the unsigned paperwork, the unpaid bills – I see the signs of what has been in evidence for some time – that multitasking doesn’t actually work. Not only is it actually unproductive, with switching between tasks causing a 40 per cent loss in productivity according to the American Psychological Association, but it’s also bad for your health, responsible for a variety of mental and physical tolls triggered by stress, including self-esteem issues and depression.

According to Guy Winch, PhD, author of Emotional First Aid: Practical Strategies for Treating Failure, Rejection, Guilt and Other Everyday Psychological Injuries, “when it comes to attention and productivity, our brains have a finite amount”. As Winch explains in a piece for health.com, the human brain is like a pie chart: “Whatever we’re working on is going to take up the majority of that pie. There’s not a lot left over for other things, with the exception of automatic behaviours like walking or chewing gum.” Moving back and forth between several tasks actually wastes productivity, he adds, because your attention is expended on the act of changing gears. Furthermore, you’re never fully present in any one task.

But in reality, what gives? What choice do we have but to get on with it, to make things happen by the skin of our teeth as we dash between our many roles as mums, partners, friends, bosses, employees, humans?

In today’s debate we’re asking how you cope with the demands of life as a modern woman: share your tips and experience on our Instagram page…