There are some things people just don’t tell you. What labour is really like. The finer details of what a sleepless night does to you. You know… the important things. The perfect moments are all too quickly shared on Instagram and Facebook – but what about the day-to-day realities of family life? For a new series, we asked 13 women to tell us honestly how their relationship with their partner was impacted after having children. Here are their stories…

Ally, 32. One child aged 2, expecting her second

“Initially having a newborn strengthened our connection. We felt so out of our depth, that it really helped to have an awareness that the other person was the only one sharing the experience.

Over time, I think I drifted more and more into just relying on my husband for the strength and help he offered which I didn’t have myself. We became a coping operation, rather than celebrators of love. Realising this was quite painful, while also hard to rectify.

I think at the moment, close to having my second child, I have a fairly healthy awareness of our limitations in just mastering the demands of ordinary life. So I know the need for grace and great communication in order to keep our connection a priority.

Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t, but the realisation that love is at peril is helpful to keep me on my toes…”

More in Features

THE SECOND WOMAN

By , 4th February 2021
Features
My third book - the last of three connected, stand-alone novels - is now available for pre-order