I was nervous. Palm-sweatingly, breathlessly nervous. I knew of the pub, an old-school East End boozer now overrun by hip Hoxtonites. It was trendy, tweeted and totally not me. I turned the corner from the alley my iPhone map had led me through and immediately saw Ben. Tall, shaved head, strong features, wearing the “granddad” jumper he had described to me in epic detail during our three-week email courtship.
I try not to correspond that long without meeting in person. It seems ridiculous that you can be instantly matched online only to spend weeks, sometimes even months, delaying the inevitable imperfection that is real life. When I had been talked into joining the online dating revolution my only caveat was that I wouldn’t spend time being pen-pals. If there seemed to be any sort of connection then we would proceed, without delay, to actual human interaction. Preferably somewhere with alcohol.
When I had been talked into joining the online dating revolution my only caveat was that I wouldn’t spend time being pen-pals
Met with a smile, a wave and then an awkward hug/cheek-kiss combo, he opened the large carved wooden door and ushered me into the sweet warmth of The Eagle. Bustling with the Friday night after-work crowd, the air was soft with the scent of damp wool and freshly pulled pints. We squeezed ourselves opposite eachother on old church pews at an equally ancient table, shared with two other parties. Opening pleasantries quickly dispensed with, Ben hit the bar to procure our drinks. Mission accomplished, we sank as fluidly into conversation as we did into our beverages.
When it was my turn to buy a round, I headed to the small, square bar in the middle of the room. While standing there, gently lost in the “it’s all going so well” glow, an elderly gentleman approached me.
‘Excuse me, excuse me darling!’
I turned to see who he was speaking to and realised, as his well-moisturised hand brushed my arm that the ‘darling’ in question was me.
The people in here wouldn’t know beauty if it bit them in the arse. They make no effort,’ the old man cried. ‘But you? Stunning! Gorgeous! A true beauty’
‘I just had to come over here to tell you. When I saw you, well you are the most gorgeous, glamourous creature in here. You remind me of a young Rita Hayworth and honey, I am old enough to remember Rita Hayworth.’
I laughed and thanked him. He continued: ‘No you really are. The people in here?’ His hand swiped the air. ‘They wouldn’t know beauty if it bit them in the arse. They make no effort. But you? Stunning! Gorgeous! A true beauty.’
I responded that I was just a single mum who doesn’t get out very often and his incredibly kind compliments had made my day.
‘Well it’s all true honey, absolutely true!’ he lisped.
I returned to Ben and our first-date banter continued uninterrupted for another 15 minutes before we were approached by the gentleman from the bar.
‘Excuse me’ he continued, not waiting for us to reply, ‘I’m sorry to interrupt, but I just have to say that this incredible woman is not only gorgeous but she is wonderfully kind too. I approached her at the bar out of nowhere and she was so gracious at indulging an old man his opinions. I’d really like it if you would permit me to buy you a drink.’
As we sat, the three of us squished together, the man introduced himself as Dennis and then turned to Ben and said ‘It must be magnificent for you to be loved by this incredible woman’
I laughed and my eyes dipped to the table as a hot flush of pink spread across my cheeks.
‘Oh no, please, you don’t have to do that. You were very kind. Thank you.’ He pushed on ‘No I insist. What would you like?’
We tried to tell him that we were fine. That I had just bought a round but he pushed on, determined. In the end I relented and ordered a Cosmo, Ben another pint of ale. I insist that he at least joins us for the drink.
As we sat, the three of us squished together, the man introduced himself as Dennis and then turned to Ben and said ‘It must be magnificent for you to be loved by this incredible woman. She is exquisite and you, sir, are very lucky to be the subject of her love.’ He continued barely taking a breath, ‘It must be amazing to be loved like that, and I can tell you love her too, but Ben, you must never underestimate how lucky you are to have a woman like this.’
Throughout this tirade of love Ben and I went from embarrassed to amused. As Ben reached across the table and took my hand in his, the electric spark of connection shot through my body.
When Dennis finally paused for a breath, I managed to insert myself into the conversation long enough to share that this was actually our first date.
Dennis clapped his hand over his mouth in astonishment. ‘How fantastic!’ His arm flew into the air gesturing to one of the servers. ‘This calls for champagne! Paul!’ he shouted, ignoring our pleas that the drinks had been enough, ‘bottle of bubbly over here, please. Quickly!’
To be continued…
