Jo, 43. One child, aged 2

“People always say make time for your partner and book babysitters. Mark and I have done this about twice in the past 22 months. Having barely done it, I still think it’s important. Ironically, we spend more time together than we ever have. It’s glorious, of course, but at the same time I have so little time for myself, he has so little time for himself – and we definitely don’t have much time for each other.

Most of our rows are about not having time to listen to each other. And yet we’re together all the bloody time. How can that be?

Everyone knows the sleep thing is hell, but when you’re sleep deprived, hungover or very hungry then we’re not at our best. We’re craggy and, in my case, emotional. It makes just being nice and happy harder to do at times.

While it’s amazing to have this new love in our lives, the passion and spontaneity has definitely receded. I hope that once we sleep a bit more and have time off it will come back.

Probably the most frustrating thing is that Mark is utterly bored by my preoccupation with getting things sorted for our son. I know he thinks it’s boring and would rather discuss other things – but someone has to get it done. And I wish I had more time for me again too but hey, that’s life at the moment.

That makes it sound terrible, but being a family unit is brilliant. Mark and I aren’t married, but being our own family is really something else. It’s so loving, and a completely different relationship to where you start off. It’s sensual, in a different way, a different sort of love.”

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THE SECOND WOMAN

By , 4th February 2021
Features
My third book - the last of three connected, stand-alone novels - is now available for pre-order